I heard everything around me, talking about him, more of demotivated than good things about him. I don't want to judge a book by its cover.. no, not by cover (coz he is physically good and charming) but by rumors. Judge people on my own, working with him, talk to him and never speculate. They said: " I don't think you will last long with him.. I gave you 1 year." And they are TOTALLY WRONG!
Funny isn't it? My impression at that time, was, he is strict, too firm and you can't negotiate things with him. It takes me a year to get to know him, what his expectations and so on. Sometimes, I am that scarecrow standing behind the wall waiting for him to come down. Sometimes I am the maid, making coffee for him and his friends. but, I enjoy that. And the worse, sometimes I am that cry baby who run to her father when people abuse me. And, he is 'that' father.
I see him as a father, who listened and suggest. But not directly. I learned how to think and fulfill my own need, my own expectations. What I want in my career, what do I need to learn. I am grateful that he never shout at me, or throw the files in front of me no matter how much I've pissed him off. He convinced me that I can suggest, I can explore and learn things. Like I am a kid. The joy of working with him for years.
We moved to another building, which is HUGE! I can't imagine how he managed to get all that. How he think of it. It is amazing! And, I do watch the way he manage because on that one day, I'm sitting in front of him, he made a quick call, suggesting and decide things, precisely. Then he said: "u see.. I solve things in 5 minutes. can u do that?". And I am stumbled! Second thing I've learned, do make decision that last longer and undeniable. And then when I've done something wrong with my weary eyes and feeling guilty.. he said:"do things perfectly even for the first step, so then u didn't need to correct the mistakes. it wastes your time.." I know it is impossible, but I keep trying to be perfectionist and it became my EXPECTATIONS every time.
Tell you what... Do you find a dean who actually dedicate his time most in the clinic, seeing patients and at the same time teaching? Have you seen a professor who sees patient without discriminate them? Never chose to see ONLY VIPs? Have you seen a consultant who listened carefully to his patient even they speak rubbish? And never complained but listened and advised. I've NEVER seen him, talk to patient and let them go without touching them. And every time he touch patient, he washes his hand. Never missed! We do learn about hygiene, but how many of us do practice it?
He loves story telling. My leg cramped standing (I don't like sitting coz it hurt my back), being a good listener together with his patient and students. I can just run away, or wandering or facebooking during the consultation but I choose to stay because I know, I'll learn something for each of the session, even with patient or student. And I love the way he try to get people understand things clearly. By joking and 'investigator-initiated idiom.'
I remember the first time I made a report (which I can describe as totally rubbish), send it to him and he accept that. And after a few months later, I get the same report from a company (which I can describe that as awesome and neat and tidy) and I realized how stupid I am and how he putting so much patience with that rubbish sent by me few months ago and yet NEVER complained!
Dear readers, I choose to stay, for the sake of excitement that I've learn for all these years. And I know I love my job so much.. The best thing, I learned how to reach my own expectations and grow and never worried to fulfill superiors expectations. Be myself and always be the coffee bean. Boil the coffee bean and see how it goes.. It never harden or softer, but it changes the water and give it a good lingering smells...The hotter the water the better.